prodigal

It has been nearly a year since I sent one of my kids off to visit their father for the summer... only to have them not return home.

New to this blog and don't know the back-story? You can catch parts of it here.

I guess all a parent can do is keep their eyes firmly fixed on the horizon, with arms open wide, hoping one day their child will finally be able to come home.

Well, either that. Or maybe... this!


parenting

behavior

children

divorce

Gaslight Theater

Being a parent of teens is a challenge. It is not easy. It is not for the faint of heart. It is not for the hard of hearing. It is not for the half awake.

Why?

Because if you are not at the top of your game for most every encounter with a teenager you will find yourself scratching your head saying "Am I crazy?"

Why?

Because teenagers seem innately talented in directing and staring in "Gaslight Theater." What the heck am I talking about? Know what "Gaslighting" is?

In a nutshell: "False information is presented to the parent by the teen with the intent of making the parent doubt their own memory or perception."  

I don't think that too many parents ever buy tickets to this "production" that their kids continually attempt to stage anyway. Parents know what they said. Parents know what the kids said. Parents know the deal.

Take that show on the road kids!

parenting

behavior

teens

Teen Weather Report

 P R E D I C T A B L E


When a parent says "yes" to a teen, it is sunny skies and 75 degrees out. Beautiful! 

parenting

behavior

teens

When a parent says "no" to their child? Suddenly and without warning it is 10 below zero and a full on rattle-your-windows blizzard! Brutal. 

How does any teen think that they will change their parent's mind by changing the "weather" so dramatically?

Beyond Reason

Teens tend to have two reasons for doing a thing: 

one that sounds good 

and a real one.
NOTE: Parents just happen to have an innate decoding ability to determine the real reason.

parenting

behavior

teens

Remember to forget

Why is it that kids seem to forget most everything that matters to the adults in their life? Conversely? They seem to have an elephant's memory when it comes to recalling whatever it is that is on their agenda.
It is madness I tell you!

And yet, as parents? It is our job to love our kids when even when they aren't very lovable.

parenting

behavior

teens

Freedom?

Isn't that the wish of every teenager? All they want is freedom.

I have one teen who can't wait to "graduate" and have all the "freedom" in the world. Then I have another teen who can't wait to get their driver's license because then they can "go wherever they want and do whatever they want." Neither of those two teens seem to be able to hear that freedom costs.

Teens seem to think that their parents live to rob them of their freedom. They probably won't see for years to come that these years are some of the most free. Free of bills, free of landlords, free of a full-time employer. If they think that parents exact a lot from them, just wait until they get the "freedom" they live for.

That first teen? Once you graduate then you have a landlord to pay rent to, a college to pay tuition to, a job to not call out sick from, an electric bill to pay, cable/Internet/cell to pay for, car maintenance, etc. All you parents out there know full well. The second teen? Just getting a license to drive does not mean that you have full license to go where you want and do what you want. First, you have to get a job to be able to get a car, or if family has given a car, then you need to work to provide gas, and need to earn the privileges to go places.

To try and tell teens this? It is like I am speaking a language that they have no comprehension to translate. Freedom is not a right, it is a privilege earned. Freedom is not free, it is expensive. I guess every generation has to learn the hard way, huh?

parenting

behavior

teens

"He who is contented is rich." - Lao Tsu

Why?

Because I said so!

 

parenting

behavior

teens

So that's when...

You know you've truly grown up when you realize your parents knew exactly what they were talking about.

parenting

behavior

teens

And don't forget...

... to slam the door! 

parenting

behavior

teens

Sure, today may be Valentine's Day, but what does that mean to the parent of teens? Well, in this land of madness it means that the teen spends a bunch of time & money preparing to have PDA time with their suitor after school, but treats the parents like crap. Ah, if only the suitor could see what real life is like with this teen --- before, during and after the slamming of the doors!

The madness of PAS

The true madness of PAS (Parental alienation syndrome) is that it is not a sickness of the child, but a malady of the parent.
PAS is not even a recognized disorder. That doesn't mean that parents can't (and don't) do things to annoy and alienate their children, it just means that PAS is being used by some abusive parents as a tactic to derail the beleaguered parent's attempts to protect their children from abuse (much more than the obvious physical abuse--more often emotional, psychological, financial).


parenting

behavior

children

parental_alienation_syndrome

It's got to be some kind of record!

Just an ordinary day, getting the bills paid. But then I saw something out of the ordinary while paying the family's cell plan bill.

This below illustrates how many texts one of my teens sent during the last billing cycle:

It's got to be some kind of record! It is madness I tell you.

parenting

behavior

teens

texting